happy birthday dad

dadtoday is my dad’s birthday.

Every day that passes, I realize more and more how lucky I am to have such an amazing dad. Not once in my life have I ever had to wonder whether he loves me, or supports me, or misses me, or wants the best for me. I know he does. How can I possibly have been so lucky as to get this man for a dad. We’re so similar and yet so different. I think he understands me more than anyone in the whole world. He knows how to get me to do something right away; like getting the oil changed.

I always have been close with my parents, and I guess I thought as people get older, they grow apart from their families as they start their own. I feel exactly the opposite. I have never wanted to spend more time with my parents. I have never had more questions for them. I know I’m just beginning to understand the depths of their love for me. And I want them to know it’s never gone unnoticed. I am so grateful that when my little baby spirit was floating around in the universe and I spotted this lovable,  young, hippie, South African couple who wasn’t even really wanting a baby yet, I knew they had to be mine. I feel like I picked them. Just for me. These people have made me everything I am and everything I will ever be.

Happy Birthday Dad.

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monday moments.

monday moments

thinking — a lot about the direction i want my life to head in

planning — a move into the city in the coming weeks. toronto that is

dreaming — a lot in the same theme lately; homeland. it’s awesome

singing — anything and everything i can get my hands on, but mostly learning new audition pieces

drinking — white wine as i write this post

making — a hat for a friend who did me a huge favour. the world is good if you let it be

trying — to remember to let the world be good

moving — my body as much as i can lately; yoga at home, weights at gym, walks with dog

watching — singin’ in the rain for the first time made me fall in love with musical theatre all over again

running — nowhere due to the fact it’s winter and i hate feeling like i’m going to slip. how much longer will that excuse hold up?

reading — nothing. changing that as soon as possible

asking — the universe to send me a sign

giving — out as much positive to people i meet as the moment allows. this will improve with practice.

make something out of nothing.

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That circle scarf. I made it for a friend, Crystal. She’s a new-ish friend. But I already know she’s a keeper. She saw a circle scarf I’d made for another friend and started complimenting it and asking questions about it. I couldn’t help but make her one. I am the first to admit I don’t really know what I’m doing when it comes to knitting and crocheting. I kind of make it up as I go along. But in the pursuit of handmade gifts to make a new friend smile, I think my haphazard skills are working just fine.

The Lovely Ride.

Welcome to the new space. The new design. The new logo. I hope you like it! I’ve had fun coming up with the images, words, fonts, and colours. It’s still a work in progress. I’ve so enjoyed the creative process of it all though. Something from nothing. It’s pretty cool.
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I’ve thought a lot about what I want this weird internet place to be used for. I’ve come up with this: A place to celebrate all the things that make life lovely.

Lately, I’ve been down. Big changes are taking place in my life, and I’m scared. I came up with this title and mission statement in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I was up thinking about all the could woulda shouldas of the day and focused on all the things I’ve done wrong lately. Then an image flashed in my mind of me, down the road a couple years, looking back on this “interesting” time in my life where I had no ties, no kids, no serious financial obligations, no one to answer to, and that older version of myself thinking how lovely it had been. How lovely it is to have the time to notice how lovely life is. To have the energy to notice the beauty, the simplicity, the kindness of other people. I decided I wanted a place to collect all that loveliness and store it up for a rainy day. Like a loveliness bank.
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This is my story. Where small things are celebrated. Where silly (sometimes terrible) photos are shared. Where my creations have a place to live be them crocheted, knitted, drawn, sewn, written, cooked, baked, sung, or danced. Where you can come and share a story or leave a comment that can bring positivity to our lives. I want my story to be filled with love. I want it to be lovely.

dreamI spend a lot of my time telling myself I can’t do something. I can’t sew that quilt because it won’t be the best quilt that anyone ever made. I shouldn’t go to that dance class because I won’t be even close to the best dancer there. I shouldn’t try to make that awesome cake on Pinterest, because it’ll never be as beautiful as the picture. You know what? WHO CARES. The destination isn’t what matters when it comes to creation;  it’s the journey. It’s the process. It’s the ride, that counts. I want to make my ride lovely.

Thank you for stopping by and checking out my new look.

10 ways to build self confidence

This post speaks to me today. Any one else? Check it out!

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I found this on PicktheBrain.com and I am a true believer of these 10 suggestions. Few examples: 1. I will be the first to tell you I have the HARDEST time getting ready everyday. But when I do, I feel 110% better, more confident, and more alert. 2. In college, the only way I could get through a class was to sit in the front row. I felt more confident about the subject and in my relationships with my professors. 3. Speaking up in school and at work has built my confidence tremendously. No, I was not always right… I had wrong answers a lot of the time. But most professors will say “yes… but…” to lessen the blow. hehe This also gets my mind going, constantly thinking of ways I can contribute. And my favorite piece of advice: Compliment others. “By looking for the best in others, you indirectly…

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I'm broke so I'm shopping with my mind.

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This is what I’d buy  if I had two dirty green bills to rub together.  Well, I have some pennies saved up, but I’m talking about money that doesn’t have “tax man” or “insurance payment” written all over it.  Instead of going to the mall and making myself miserable in public about how I can’t afford any of these nice things, I thought I’d make myself sad in the comfort of my own home.  I’m going to call this the “winter blues” edition of “Shopping with my mind”.  It’s cold and grey in my neck of the woods.  I feel like buying fun things makes winter go by faster, right?  Also, I’d like to point out, that I couldn’t actually wear this cape coat or those rubber boots here right now.  It’s too cold.  I’m a baby and I wear parkas; zipped up with a hood and scarf wrapped around my neck.  This is for “fashion winter”.   That’ll hit these parts in about 2 months or so.  Oh god.. winter.. blues.. send help.

1. Lately, all I want to wear is stretchy, skinny, dark jeans and comfy t-shirts.  I also love stripes.  I love wearing as many types of stripes as possible all at the same time.  I have a white and black striped scarf I would wear with this here shirt.

2. Red. Hunters.  Come on. I WILL own these one day.  I love Hunters.  They are classic.

3. I had a crappy version of this bag and when I was in NYC, the first day, the strap just snapped.  Like as I was strutting down the street mentally high fiving myself for looking awesome in NYC, it just fell on the ground.  I actually thought I was being mugged or something.  New York wanted me to buy a new bag.  It wasn’t my fault.  This bag is way prettier than my old crappy one.

4. I have had my eye on these Steve Madden boots for some time.  Classy, classic, low heeled.  I need a pair of black boots because I already have 2 pairs of brown boots and NO BLACK ones!  What?  I know, useless right?

5. The cape coat.  I love this coat.  I want to live in a place where winter is merely a fashion suggestion.  Hey, girls, it’s like not t-shirt weather, why don’t you sport a sassy cape and pretend it’s winter out?  Ok!!  PS- Canada didn’t get that memo.  I still want it.

What are you loving these days?  Want to come on a mental shopping trip with me?

Christmas Recap.

photo-211. Tried to channel Chelsea‘s wonderfully creative nail stylings this Christmas.  Looked great for less than 24 hours then it all chipped or peeled off.  Can’t say I didn’t try.

2. Little brother, myself, and dad at Nathan Phillips Square for the New Year’s Eve countdown!  Lots of family fun this holiday.  It was lovely.

3. My new cousin Jessica.  She’s the girlfriend of my older Aussie cousin Ryan.  They all came and stayed with us this holiday.

4. Cracked out the heavy duty boots for some tobogganing.  They’re cute, and heavy as sh*t.

5. Pretty proud of the tree this year.  I took a lot of time adding ribbon and bow details this season and it paid off with more depth and texture than usual.  I looked forward to turning the lights on every evening.  I wish we could have white lights up around the house all year long.

"You want to work here? Close".

So this speech from Glengarry Glen Ross was brought to my attention by this article.  I think I just felt my whole world view shift.

It’s all about how the world owes you nothing.  I’ve always heard this said about theatre and show business.  “Show business owes you nothing.  It will spit you out when it’s done with you”.  But not about life.  It’s all about when we say “I’m lonely/don’t have a boyfriend/don’t have the job I want/don’t make enough money” it really comes down to “I don’t have anything to offer that makes people need me around”.  And it’s NOT about “I’m a nice person”.  As the author says.. That’s the bare minimum people!  It’s about things, skills, talents, that make people want to have you around.  Because you give them what they need.  We all need something.  What can you give me?  What do I bring to the table?

I live in world full of hopes and dreams.  “Broadway dreams, Sawyer.  We’ve all had ’em”.

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But as my friends’ therapist said, “You can’t live in a world full of hopes and dreams”.  I’ve translated that to mean, we can’t use them as currency in our lives.  We can hope and dream the night away, but it doesn’t mean anything.  It doesn’t propel us forward.  We have to DO things.  We have to CREATE things.  We have to work hard at improving the skills we have that people NEED.  Otherwise, dreams mean nothing.  All those quotes floating around the internet mean nothing as we stare at them on Pinterest and don’t act.

Wow, I’m all jazzed up.

I have been feeling so low.  That’s the thing with this business (world?), when it’s up, you’ve never been higher, but the lows are crushing.  And I’m low.  Show’s over.  No job.  Living with my parents.  But you know what?  I can DO something.  Anything.  I can write this post.  I can pick up my guitar.  I can cook a nice meal.  All these little things are helping to make me into a person with skills people need in life.

I know it’s not as simple as all this, but these points and the way they were laid out really resonated with me.  I can sit around and be sad about my situation, or I can act.  I can create.  And I will.

Thank you for listening.

Do you get what I’m laying down here?  Go read that article NOW!

42nd Street: Behind the Scenes.

This past summer taught me so much!  I feel like I could write a hundred posts about all the lessons I learned.  But before I go into all the details, I wanted to catch you guys up on the comings and goings of theatre life.  Of how fun and off beat all the people I get to spend my days with are.  The weird and wonderful things we get up to. So here goes!

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We did a Gangnam Style video and it got like a ridiculous amount of hits.  The guy who put the video together got invited to the Gangnam guys concert in Toronto.  It was crazy!!  The Artistic Director of the festival is in it as well as Peter Mansbridge!! Crazy!IMG_1769

Just your average intermission with crazy showgirls!IMG_1741

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Stratford in the fall was so beautiful!IMG_1734

Just a knitting showgirl before we busted our butts in “We’re In the Money”.  That number killed us every time!IMG_1733

Thanks for stopping by!

NYC so far..

I’m in NEW YORK CITY right now living it up and seeing shows! I auditioned for A Chorus line today, I’ll tell you that story later…

For now, here’s a small taste of what I’ve been up to!

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