when i grow up.

iwantotbelovely

I wanted to take a moment and acknowledge how little I know about anything.

When I was 17, I decided I wanted to be an actor. I auditioned for Sheridan. I worked really hard on all my materials and did everything I could to try and get in the program. At the time, for some weird reason, I decided that if I didn’t get into Sheridan for Musical Theatre, then I wasn’t meant to be in this industry. I didn’t apply to any other theatre schools. I put all my eggs in one basket and you know what? I got in. I took it as a sign. I could do this. I could be a professional musical theatre performer.

Looking back, I realize how crazy that was. It’s one school. It’s one small group of people’s opinions. Lots of people who haven’t gone to Sheridan are very successful. But I made my decision and I didn’t second guess myself. And so far, it’s paid off.

Now that I’m 25, I wonder where that self assurance went. Maybe it’s just a part of growing up. I thought I would have things so much closer to figured out by now. I thought I would be more sure of myself at 25 than 17; but it’s not the case. I have more questions than ever. I have more worries than ever.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say the first step to knowing everything is admitting you know nothing.

So now I want to try and listen more than I talk. Accept people for who they are instead of trying to fit them into the boxes I’ve saved for them in my head. Let people bring something to the table instead of strong arming them into following my lead. Allow the good in the world to come to me instead of trying to create a vacuum to force it towards me.

Do you get more sure of yourself as you get older? Or is it all downhill from here? 🙂

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1 Comment

  1. lovely kayla – i am so happy to have found your blog. more so, i am happy to have read a personal post that is so genuine. keep it up lady. you rock!

    Reply

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